The start of this Blog is actually on the post below - starting with Frazer and Sasha.
Day 3 - 73kg
So This day did not goes as good as I had hoped. The day started off perfect though, I made my weight great, then went back to sleep for a quick nap and then it was off to the tournament site to begin my tournament. I had a great warm up, and was feeling the best I have ever felt before a big tournament, without a question I felt amazing! the nerves were fine and I was ready to go! When my name was called up it just seemed like it was another tournament and everything was fine, some people let the stress get to them and it really affects there performance but today I felt I was ready and good enough to win a medal. As everyone knows I ended up losing my match in ovetime to Portugal, but I am still seaching for reasons to why I lost - I felt great, without a question I was ready to go, I wanted it so bad!
This part I kept in my blog (I actually wrote this next part right after I finishes fighting)
Words cant describe the pain that I am feeling right now, I try and put a smile on my face to hide the pain but even as I am writing this I have to wipe the tears from my eyes. So much training and preparation, so many hours in the gym – no one can understand how it feels until your in the same situation. It will take a long time for me to get back to my normal goofy mood that everyone knows me as. The only thing I can do to try and cheer myself up is to not think about judo – but it is very hard at this time – I know everyone who is reading this knows that I having been looking forward to this moment my entire life. But when it ended like it did, it was just the most unbearably feeling in the world, even today when I was talking about it with people I got choked up, I cant even think about it, or I start to cry.Nico (my coach) keeps asking me if I’m ok, and i just keep shaking my head no, because I cant even speak. I wanted that medal so bad, I felt so good – but i guess it wasn’t meant to be. I can’t wait to get back to training; I’m going to win a medal if it kills me. I saw my Dad about an hour after I lost, and as soon as I saw him I started to cry again, I think I said - I didnt do it Dad! I didnt do what I came here to do! He hugged me and I felt I little better but, really the pain will last a life time. I gave up a normal life to become an olympian, my Dad also gave up so much for me, and I wanted to win it so bad.
So Ya that was what I wrote after my match, even just reading it right now again to myself was crazy. Anyways after my Day was done, I didnt even eat dinner, I went to my room after watching finals, showered up and went to sleep.
On these days Canada had no one competing so we didnt get up to very much, I hung out with my Dad and my sister and watched the tournament. I did however go out one night for some night life action in beijing.. which I will explain to you in my next post along withday 6 of the competition where we had 2 canadians in action. For right now im an tired so im off to bed.. hope everyone is liking the posts!!